How to Say ‘No’ Without Seeming Selfish

The word ‘No’ is one of the toughest words to say. It can hurt, offend and anger. Even so, we need to know when to say ‘No’. If not, we will sacrifice our own well-being if we say 'Yes' and do things we don’t want to do.

We are taught to think of others and not to be selfish. We are also taught to put other people’s needs before our own. But if we do that, who will be taking care of our needs?

So how do we say 'No' without seeming like a selfish prick?

Number one, offer alternatives. If your friend wants to visit at 12 a.m. and you are exhausted, tell her so and offer another day to visit.

Number two, voice your discomfort. People rarely push you to do something if you are brave enough to say that you are not comfortable doing it. It takes courage to admit that we are not at ease doing something. Most people will respect you for being frank about it.

Number three, explain why you are saying 'No'. If you don’t want to lend your friend money, for example, explain that you can’t afford it, or on a budget. If your friend is reasonable, he won’t push you.

So these are 3 simple tips for you to start saying 'No' and protect your boundaries. Your feelings and opinions are as valid as others’. You deserve to feel good and live the kind of life you want to lead.

Have a good week!