How to Stop Comparing Ourselves with Others (and be happy where you are)

Comparing ourselves with other people is a natural thing to do. It’s also the fastest way to kill your own happiness. With social media, it’s so easy to compare ourselves with the perfect pictures that other people post online.

So why is it not good for us?

When we compare our own weaknesses with another person’s strength, it’s a losing game.

A person your age might be running a lucrative business and you are not working, for example If you compare yourself with him, you might be beating yourself thinking I should have done this, I should have achieved that, I feel like a failure etc.

Well…you might not be talented at business like your friend, but you might have a gift for something else. So your friend adds value to society by offering his business services whereas you can add value by sharing your talent or skill – be it teaching, cooking, care-giving or anything else.

There is no point comparing yourself with him because you are both likely talented in very different areas.

I have chosen 3 ways for us to stop comparing ourselves with other people.

1. Know yr blessings

This is so cliche, but be aware of your own blessings. There are other people out there who think u are lucky – maybe you have a loving family, a supportive husband, genuine friends, you have well-behaved children or u are doing a job you love. So your friend may be running a multi million dollar business, but you have a group of genuine friends who love u for u are – which your successful friend might or might not have. Everyone is blessed in different ways.

2. Stop Yourself

If you catch yourself comparing yourself with another person, take a deep breath and pause for a bit. Don’t beat yourself up for thinking that way but acknowledge that you are now comparing yourself to your friend Wendy and gently change the focus of your thoughts.

3. Be Happy for Others’ Achievements

It’s easy to feel envious when a friend has achieved something that we secretly want to achieve as well. If you feel envy, it’s good to be upfront and say, ‘I wish I have the same success as you! I’m so envious.’ When you are honest about your envy, it feels as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and it’s the first step to improving yourself. Also, celebrate your own successes. Share with trusted people if you feel good about a job promotion, if you have a pay raise and so on.

So essentially, life is not a competition, it doesn’t matter if you are up in the ranks or make the most money or not. Let’s face it – as long as you have people who love you, health, a place to live, food, you are blessed. And I’m sure many of you watching this have all of that and more.

So the 3 steps to stop comparing yourself with others are 1) Know your blessings 2) Stop yourself 3) Be happy for others’ success

Have a good week.