We've heard of the term 'constructive criticism' too many times.
It simply means to give suggestions which are supposed to help another person change for the better.
But how do we give criticism - err, feedback - in a way that is easy for other people to accept (and change their habits to boot)?
Not Knowing How to Give Constructive Criticism Can Cost You Your Job
If we tell a person that he or she is "wrong", the person will usually get defensive. This is what I call 'the low EQ' way of giving constructive criticism =P
I used to work with someone - let's call her Gina - who holds a superior position in her workplace - and she always has to give feedback to her subordinates.
Gina is very smart, very meticulous and very proactive. I've not mentioned that she is constantly upgrading herself and always gives her 100% at work.
Her bosses and superiors adore her work ethic.
But not her subordinates.
Gina is very task-oriented but lacks tact.
If she wants her subordinate to improve something, she will approach the person and just tell him or her point-blank: "Can you check this document now? It's wrong, the numbers don't tally. You need to check it now because we are running out of time."
No niceties, no small chit-chat, nothing.
The sad thing is, Gina's subordinates rebelled against her in a passive-aggressive fashion.
They would 'forget' her task, take an extremely long time to finish her tasks or simply refuse to do her tasks - as much as they can get away with.
One subordinate even refused to talk to Gina and just communicated directly to Gina's bosses - by-passing Gina completely.
Gina has quit and switched companies many times and always, her constant complaint is that the people working with her have attitude problems.
I understand Gina's situation because managing a small group of people is challenging.
Sometimes, we have deadlines and when rushed for time (happens often enough!), we forgo all niceties and just verbally shoot the person who is not working up to standard in as little words as possible.
At the same time, when working with people, we have to be sensitive to their emotions because humans are emotional creatures. :)
The Formula for Giving Constructive Criticism
The most popular way to give constructive criticism is to focus on what the person has done right before adding your input.
An example:
Instead of saying: "Cecilia, your method of teaching students is wrong. You should teach them using props, pictures and models instead of just reading off Powerpoint slides."
You can say this:
"You put in a lot of effort preparing these Powerpoint slides - they are full of useful information. At the same time, by using props, pictures and models, your classes will come alive!"
The formula for giving constructive criticism is this:
*(insert genuine praise for person's work) and then add "At the same time, by *(insert your suggestion), *(insert benefits of your suggestion)."
I would say that the challenge is to craft genuine praise for another person's effort first, before telling her your suggestions. (Sometimes, the other person's work is too subpar to be praised)
If you can't rack your mind for genuine praise for someone's work, just say:
"You put in a lot of effort to do this and it is very beneficial. At the same time, by *(insert your suggestions), *(insert benefits of your suggestion)."
I would say that this formula works even on people who are very sensitive to feedback :)
I hope this short and sweet actionable tip is helpful for you.
If you've tried my constructive criticism formula on your colleague or child, let me know how it goes in the 'Comments' section below :)
See you in the next article!