(Free Printable) Raise Your Self-Esteem Now

I was inspired to create this Raise Your Self-Esteem printable when I felt angry recently.

Someone overstepped my boundaries and I did not retaliate. I felt hurt, and it hurt my sense of self-worth a little.

Hence, I sketched out this printable to make me feel better. And bring up my self-esteem again.

I hope it helps you in times of distress as well. I will send it to your inbox:

I will create a more in-depth version of this printable soon so all of us can keep a healthy self-esteem when we feel wronged, hurt, angry, pissed-off, belittled…you name it. :D

See you around!

(Free Printable) How to Increase Self-Esteem Before an Important Event

I’m sure you have felt discouraged or some other negative emotion before an important event before.

You might have had a disagreement with a loved one, experienced a criticism or any event which caused your self-esteem to take a plunge.

In this video, I’ll share a fast way for you to boost your self-esteem so that you can be on your A-game during an important event even when you are experiencing a dip in confidence!

If you need the Success Log printable I mentioned in the vid, click below!

(Free Printable) 4 Strategies to Stay Motivated & Keep a Healthy Self-Esteem

Having more achievements is one fast and foolproof way to keep a high self-esteem.

As a counsellor, I know that self-esteem should come from WITHIN ourselves and not from outside influences such as ‘achievements’.

I choose to be realistic in here - many of us get a QUICK boost of self-esteem from outside influences such as having a high-flying position at work, making lots of money, even toting a Chanel handbag, looking good and so on.

So in this blog post, I’m working with the flow and giving you 4 real strategies to stay motivated at work and in your projects, grab more achievements and maintain a high self-esteem - the fast way.

It’s normal to feel like giving up and quitting. Even successful people - and people on their way to success - have felt like giving up. But they have strategies to handle their emotions.

I’ll be sharing 4 strategies to handle and control the feeling of wanting to give up. What should we do when we feel like giving up?

Let’s start.  

Point #1: Remember Why You Started.

I like to keep things simple. Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down: Why did I start?

Why did you start this project, this business or choose this work in the first place?

If you feel happier writing on a pretty piece of paper, you can download the Why Did I Start? printable below.

This exercise will give you a fresh wave of inspiration and motivation about your work.

Motivation will keep you going and makes you feel empowered. Keeps you focused on your goals too.

When you are motivated + focused + all fired up about your work, you will enjoy achievements here and there.

This will keep your self-esteem high.

Point #2:  Remember the Faces of People who Said You’ll Fail

Remember their faces. Remember their words.

Their negative words might sound like this:

“I’m sure that you will fail if you do this project / business.”

“I’ve already said this - you can’t do this project. Everything you’ve done before has been a failure. This is no different.”

“You are not good enough. Who are you? You are a nobody - nothing special.”

“Who do you think you are? You don’t have what it takes to be successful in this.”

Are you going to prove to these people that you are the loser that they think you are? Are you going to prove them right?

What’s worse is that we unknowingly entertain these people’s words sometimes. And ‘obey’ these people by taking half-hearted actions towards our projects.

Remember these people. Have a list of their names and toxic comments.

For example: “Person A has called me a bimbo behind my back and that I will amount to nothing.”

“Person B said I am not confident and not smart enough to start a business.”

If you want to write this list on a pretty printable, you can download one I’ve created for you.

You might be curious and wonder: “Why would these people say such toxic things about me?”

You can re-frame the situation by thinking this way: It’s their ‘job’ to gossip or put you down.

These (toxic) people have ‘jobs’ to do. Their role in our lives is to motivate us and be the fire in our bellies. And their ‘job’ is to push us  - real hard - with their taunts.

Let them do their ‘work’!

Whenever you hear a negative comment, taunt or gossip about you - be grateful because these people remember us and have us in their minds. That is why we have become the subject of their stories and their gossips.

Be thankful that they remember us - even with their hectic and busy schedules.

If you are strong enough, forgive them and wish them success too.

Point #3:  Mindset Shift: Challenges Help Us Reach Excellence.

When something bad happens to us, we might sigh and think:

“Why do I always have problems? Look at my friend. She doesn’t have problems. Her life is so easy. Always successful and always happy”  

We might not know that that friend of ours might have already gone through the same challenges we are going through.

She might choose not to share her challenges with others. Not everyone wants to share such stories.

Challenges help us reach excellence. We have to twist our mindset.

One suggestion is to stop asking “Why me?” and replace it with “Try me.”

Also, ask ourselves: What is the lesson we can learn behind this problem?

Point #4: Listen to Motivational Podcasts and Audio Books

An easy (and addictive) habit to pick up is to listen to positive podcasts during our daily commute or whilst doing chores.

Listen to motivational podcasts or audio books to bring you closer to achievements - or perhaps to just shift our mindsets to be more positive.

Listening to uplifting material everyday will seep into our subconscious minds, change our outlook on life and boost our self-esteem over time.

I have been listening to self-help audio books, and searching for powerful podcasts for millennial women. (Do you have any suggestions? Tell me your favourite podcasts in the comments section below!)

I hope these 4 strategies will help you control your emotions when you feel like giving up.

In short, the 4 strategies are:

1. Remember why you started

2. Remember the faces of people who said you’ll fail

3. Mindset shift: Challenges help us reach excellence

4. Listen to Motivational Podcasts and Audio Books

If you like this blog post, pin it on your Pinterest board!

Or download the How to Stay Motivated printable :)

All the best,

Shikah

(Free Printable) 5 Powerful Habits for Self Love

Self love is not selfish.

Self-love is about respecting our wants, our values and creating boundaries for our own good.

For some of us, we were taught to respect other people, but not to respect ourselves.

This leads to self-sacrificing behaviour, confusion about our own likes and dislikes, and much unhappiness.

We can’t switch to being a self-loving person in a snap, but I have a ‘Love Your Quirks’ worksheet which helps you to re-frame, or rather, see how your ‘weaknesses’ can be helpful for you.

Here are the 5 habits for self-love:

Habit #1 : Be brave and say ‘no’

If you are a people-pleaser or a genuinely nice person, saying ‘no’ is usually difficult for you.

Heck, practising self love is also challenge for you!

If you feel that someone is trying to take advantage of you, you can use one of the 5 ways below to say no without offending (much).

*Here are 5 ways for you to say ‘no’ without offending.

1. I’m busy at the moment so I can’t help you with XXX.

2. I think we should do XXX ourselves.

3. I’m not comfortable doing XXX.

4. I can’t help you with XXX right now. Maybe next time.

5. No, not today. Sorry about that! (no explanation given)
   
   
   
   

*All the above can be said in a neutral or in a pleasant tone of voice.

Saying no builds self respect.

You are also protecting yourself from over-committing, burning yourself out, doing something you don’t want to do and feeling terrible about it.

Habit #2: Listen to your body

How do we ‘listen to our bodies’? We’ve heard this phrase so many times, but how do we do it daily for self love purposes?

Be aware of your bodily sensations.

If you are sleepy, take a nap. If you are hungry, eat. If you are thirsty, get a drink. If your eyes feel strained, take a break from your laptop. If your skin feels dry, slap on a sheet mask. If you feel like doing some stretching, do it. If you feel the need to talk to your husband, do so.

Catch the drift? :) The steps above are simple, but not always easy to do.

That is because many of us are used to suppressing or ignoring our bodily sensations.

When you are hungry, be present and find out what your body wants to eat today.

It can be as random as a peach or maybe you are drawn to a fast food meal at that time. As long as you are balanced when eating, your body can handle some fried food here and there.

If your body feels tired, rest. Many of us have a habit of ‘powering through’ our exhaustion.

This makes us unproductive. Feeling terrible (and looking terrible to boot).

Surprisingly, when you rest (make sure you clear your mind too - very important.), you will have more energy to complete your work later on.

You will finish your work in maybe half the time as compared to bulldozing through your exhaustion to get it done. You can bet that the work will be of better quality too.

Habit #3: Good vibes only

A HUGE part of self-love is being very selective about whom you accept in your social circle.

Surround yourself with positive people. How do you know if someone should be included in your circle?

If that person makes you feel good 90% of the time, he or she is a keeper.

I would like to add that you should only be friends with people who have healthy self-esteem. People with healthy self-esteem will support you and be happy for you when you succeed.

People with good self-esteem are usually transparent with their actions, words and feelings.

If you have ever doubted if a friend is happy for your success or not - that ‘friend’ might have to be kicked out of your circle soon.

And genuine friends don’t give ‘mixed signals’.

Get rid of frenemies, Debby Downers, complainers, backstabbers, toxic people, people who like breaking friendships and relationships, highly insecure people. (Don’t underestimate the toxicity level of a highly insecure ‘friend’.)

To put it lightly, these people will give you headaches and heartaches. We don’t have time for that!

Also….be sure that we are not one of those toxic people mentioned above! But that will be for another blog post for another time.

Habit #4: Don’t be so harsh on yourself

Forgive yourself.

Even your good friends and family don’t expect you to be perfect. Why should you?

Even the person you admire most has made many mistakes. Sometimes, we will accidentally say something which hurts someone else. We might do the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Learn something from those slip-ups, forgive yourself and move on.

Habit #5: Love your ‘weaknesses’

I’m sure you can come up with 3 of your weaknesses in 5 seconds flat.

As humans, we are programmed to focus on the negative aspects of something - which,sadly, includes focusing on the negative aspects of ourselves.

Embrace them as part of you. Admit that you are nervous about public speaking, you tend to procrastinate and so on.

I have a candid worksheet - ‘Love Your Quirks’ - which helps you view how your ‘weaknesses’ can be helpful in some situations.

For example: I am an over-thinker, thus I wrote down how overthinking has helped me in 2 situations.

If you have children, you can complete this worksheet with them as well. It helps them to re-frame how they view their own perceived ‘weaknesses’.

If you want a copy of this worksheet, you can download it below.

Have a good week!

Shikah

(Free Printable) How to Overcome Fear 1 Step at a Time

Stress and fear trigger the fight-or-flight response in us.

It’s tempting to skip all situations which make us stressed or anxious.

However, this is not helpful. Whenever you are put in the same types of situation, the same anxiety and fear will creep up.

Avoiding a stressful or fearful situation will give us relief from feelings of anxiety and stress.

But, if we continue avoiding such situations, our brains will link avoidance with anxiety relief.

The result?

We continue avoiding those stressful or fearful situations for ALL of our lives.

How to use The Bravery Ladder to Overcome Fear Slowly

I have a mindset tool (The Bravery Ladder) which you can use.

Experts recommend 'graded exposure' which means, experiencing your stressful situations one baby step at a time.

For example: Let’s say Linda has a fear of public speaking. Let’s see how we can use ‘graded exposure’ using The Bravery Ladder method.

Ask Linda to write her LEAST FEARED activity at Level 1 leading all the way up to the MOST FEARED activity at Level 6 (which is public speaking).

You can look at the example below.

Linda can expose herself to the Level 1 activity first for 4-5 times a week.

Or until her anxiety about the Level 1 activity reduces to about 50%. Whichever comes first.

Then she will move on to the Level 2 activity (which is, giving a presentation in front of the sister). Similarly, she will do this 4-5 times a week or until her anxiety for this Level 2 activity dies down by 50%. Whichever comes first.

This will go on until she reaches Level 6.

As you can see, this method takes time. It's definitely not a quick fix.

The outcome for this tool is to confront stressful or feared situations gradually until feelings of stress and anxiety dip.

Now is your turn to share The Bravery Ladder to overcome your own fear.

I've created a blank The Bravery Ladder worksheet for you. You can download it below.

Hope it helps!