(Free Printable) How to Overcome Self Critical thoughts and Feel More Confident
I’m sure we’ve heard of many positive thinking tactics.
Jumping from “I am a failure because I never finish the projects I created” to “I’m a successful person” is a big leap.
That’s why I prefer creating balanced, believable thoughts.
Your new thoughts have to be believable to yourself.
So today, we will learn how to create balanced, believable thoughts to overcome our self-critical thoughts over time.
This will require you to download my Thought Challenging Diary action sheet. You can get it below:
If you learn better with video, you can watch me teach you how to use this action sheet to improve your self-esteem below:
Let’s get started!
How do we create a new, balanced, feel-good thought to a replace self-critical thought?
We are not going to create ‘positive thoughts’ here.
We will be creating new thoughts which are balanced and realistic based on facts.
Why? Because our minds can accept balanced thoughts backed by evidence. When I mention balanced thoughts, I'm referring to thoughts backed by actual evidence.
That is why we are going to look for evidence against our negative thoughts in today's assignment.
Looking for evidence...
If one of your negative thoughts is "I am a failure and I give up easily", we are going to look for evidence in your life which proves this thought wrong.
Changing your unworthy thought from "I’m a failure" to "I’m a success!" is like jumping the Grand Canyon. Too far and too unrealistic at this point of time.
So we’ll go one step at a time to create a new balanced thought (backed by evidence) to replace the older, faulty, negative thought we used to have.
How?
If you have read this blog post about me teaching other coaches how to do this, the 2 steps below will seem familiar
Ask yourself these 4 questions to overcome self-critical thoughts the simple way
"How will my friend (insert your best friend’s name) view this situation?"
"If I’m in a good mood and feeling happy, how will I view this situation?"
"Is there any other perspective to view this situation?"
"What advice will I give my friend Karen if she has this same unhelpful thought?"
Complete the Thought Challenging Diary to overcome self-critical thoughts in-depth
We will be challenging AND supporting our self-critical thoughts with evidence.
You may ask: Why do we look for evidence to support our self-criticism? Isn’t that ironic?
Coming face to face with our ‘bad’ habits and “weaknesses” will bring awareness. And make sure we improve on them.
Let’s say my most distressing thought is:
"I’m a failure - I give up easily and not had success with many activities I start. This project is going to be the same."
I will look for evidence against this belief AND supporting this belief.
To make it easier, I will just upload my completed action sheet below:
Again, if you want a tutorial on this, you can watch the Youtube video I uploaded above.
What should I feel after this self-critical thoughts action sheet?
You should feel good about yourself after completing this exercise. More assured. More confident. More comfortable in your own skin.
This action sheet may take 10 minutes for some of us, or it may take longer. It is good to be intentional and honest when completing this!
I still struggle with poor self-esteem and negative thoughts. What should I do?
You may find this article I wrote on all-or-nothing thinking helpful.
If you want to take one step further, my self-esteem workbook with 21 practical exercises will improve your self-esteem drastically.
Any suggestions or questions for me? Shoot me an email at shikah@shikahanuar.com!
Meanwhile, have a good week.
Shikah
