Confidence coaching technique : How to coach confidence the self-loving way (with free self confidence coaching exercise)

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Today, we'll be discussing 5 self-loving techniques to boost your clients’ confidence levels.

As coaches, it can be tremendously helpful to coach confidence with a more compassionate mindset, and leaving behind the tough love methods of the past.

You can also download a FREE, brandable ‘Self-loving ways to boost your confidence’ mini workbook to use as a free opt-in in your coaching blog and grow your mailing list:

Meanwhile, you can watch the podcast video below or read the modified transcript if you wish.

Thank you for being in my world.

Blessings to you,

Shikah

• ✨Read transcript

  Welcome back to another episode of Mindset with Shikah. I'm Shikah and I create done for you coaching tools using my counselling experience. 

  Today we will be talking about self-loving ways to boost your client’s confidence. 

  For some reason, when I think of ‘building confidence’ or ‘confidence coaching’’, the first thing that pops in my mind are ‘tough love’ methods.

  I grew up hearing words like ‘no pain, no gain’, ‘bulldoze your fear’, ‘push through your fear no matter what’ or other self-punishing ideas like that.

  Well, the good news is, building your clients’ confidence and self-worth does not have to involve punishment, self-sacrifice or tears of some sort.

  That’s why I created this done-for-you self confidence program. I believe that confidence can be coached through more self-compassionate methods. 

  Confidence is such an important aspect of our lives, as it allows us to tackle challenges well, pursue our goals, and embrace our authentic selves.

  And confidence is a skill that can be learnt. If your audience thrives with a self-compassionate approach to boost confidence, you will find this episode helpful.

  I’m going to share a few self-loving coaching methods to boost confidence and ensure your clients feel comfortable in their own skin.

  #1. Self acceptance helps with self-confidence. Acceptance means owning both their positive characteristics and less-than-ideal aspects.

  For example, instead of punishing themselves for not being a ‘hustler’ who works 24/7, your clients can accept that they have a different working style.

  And they can craft schedules which let them thrive within their own working style. Self acceptance, hence, maintains their confidence levels.

  #2. Being grateful actually leads to self confidence

  Low confidence usually crops up when we have a ‘lack’ mindset. Lack of talent, lack of good looks, lack of motivation - you name it.

  If your clients appreciate the talents, skills and experience they have, they can be comfortable in their own skin.

  This does not mean they stay complacent.

  They can be grateful for their current state AND be works-in-progress at the same time :) 

  #3. Being mindful actually helps boost self confidence

  Mindfulness is probably the last thing you think of when you are coaching confidence. But here, we are referring to being mindful of our thoughts.

  Detaching ourselves from our critical thoughts can preserve our self esteem.

  I have an exercise in the done for you self confidence program which can help your clients with this. 

  For example, let’s assume you have a client who has a critical thought similar to this: “I am not good or skilled enough to apply for that job at my dream company.” 

  They can choose to pause and scan to see which thoughts are causing them to feel inadequate. 

  They can then detach themselves from the thought by changing their narrative to : “I am having *the thought* that I am not skilled enough to apply for a job at my dream company.” 

  Being aware that thoughts are not real, helps to prevent dips in confidence.

  #4. Another way to boost confidence in a self loving way is to encourage your clients to set achievable, realistic goals.

  Setting goals that are slightly challenging but achievable is a great way to boost their confidence.

  Start setting small goals and gradually work their way up to bigger goals.

  This is helpful because accomplishing even small achievements can prove to themselves that they are capable of success.

  And this builds their confidence in themselves.

  #5. The next way to coach confidence in a self-loving way is to surround themselves with positive people.

  I know one mindset coach who mentioned that ‘Environment trumps mindset’.

  What he meant was, the influence of people around us can have a stronger impact on us than our own mindset.

  So, the friends we spend time with, have a big impact on our confidence.

  Encourage your clients to surround themselves with people who uplift and support them. 

  We all know building confidence is a lifelong journey. And if you use self-loving methods to boost your clients’ confidence their new found confidence will be strong and last a long time.

  I hope you found this episode helpful.

  Check out the show notes for free lead magnets which you can use in your coaching blog to grow your mailing list. See you in my next episode. Bye.

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Launch your own signature program finally.

Program text, editable workbook, done for you sales page, opt-in freebie and email sales funnel all done for you.

Done-for-you coaching program which you can launch to your coaching clients by today.

If you have any questions, you can send me an email at shikah@shikahanuar.com

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For your Pinterest board :

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Life purpose coaching exercise : Help clients uncover their basic life purpose and boost confidence

Grow your mailing list by helping your coaching audience discover their unique talents with this free coaching tool :

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In this podcast episode, I’ll be sharing a 4-step Life Purpose Formula which helps your clients uncover their basic life purpose.

I’ve included the transcript below for your convenience!

This Life Purpose Formula is part of my done-for-you self care guided workbook.

With this done-for-you workbook, you can launch your own self-care workbook and sell it in your coaching blog.

You can also use this self-care workbook as a bonus for your courses or even as a tripwire to have more ‘qualified’ potential clients in your mailing list :)

• ✨Read transcript ✨

  Welcome back to another episode of Mindset with Shikah where I share strategies and mindset skills to motivate you in your coaching business.

  Today we have a very interesting and thought-provoking topic to explore. I will share with you a 4-step method to help your clients uncover their basic life purpose.

  You can share this method with your audience, with your coaching clients in your Instagram reels, in your captions, your instagram ‘lives’ you name it.

  So let's dive right in. Many people would love to find out what their purpose in life is. Because knowing our basic life purpose means having a clear sense of what gives our lives meaning and direction.

  Our life purpose is what drives our actions and determines the decisions we make.

  So when your clients make career or business decisions with their life purpose in mind, they will experience more joy and satisfaction.

  In my opinion, discovering our life purpose is an ongoing journey because our purpose may change at different stages of our lives.

  As we experience more ups and downs in life, as we have more self-awareness, as we change our character and preferences as human beings, our purpose changes as well.

  To make it simple, your clients’ basic life purpose is closely tied to their joy. And also closely tied to their natural talents. What activities bring them pure joy? Put them in the flow? Makes them feel alive? Make them energised? What activities come so easily to them, which others struggle with?

  These are the questions your clients can reflect on, to find their basic life purpose.

  So, last week, I was scrolling through my phone and looking at a done-for-you self care workbook which I have written in the past.

  And this 4 step Life Purpose Formula exercise jumped out at me.

  You can share this 4 step Life Purpose Formula with your clients.

  Step 1: What are the 2 personal qualities they like about themselves? (for example, maybe they are empathetic, a good motivator)

  Step 2 : What activities do they enjoy which allow them to express the 2 qualities above? (maybe they like to write uplifting content and create videos.)

  Step 3 : In their viewpoint, what do they hope people have more / less of? (eg : I hope people will realise the value of mindfulness and self-growth)

  Step 4 : String their answers to the 3 questions above into Your Life Purpose sentence: (For this example, “My life purpose is to engage my empathetic nature and being a good motivator to write uplifting content and create videos to help people realise the value of mindfulness and self-growth.”)

  You can help your clients uncover their basic life purpose with this formula.

  If you want to read through the steps again, you can go to my blog post - which is in the description box.

  And as a gift for you, you can also download a free coaching tool called Discover Your Unique Gifts and Talents’ which you can use as a free opt-in in your coaching blog to grow your subscribers. The link is also in my description box.

  That’s all for today. I’ll see you in my next episode. Bye.

Thank you for being in my world, Coaches.

If you want to chat with me about this episode, you can send me an email at shikah@shikahanuar.com :)

Sincerely and love,

Shikah

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Help your coaching audience discover their unique talents with this free coaching tool :

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How to coach boundary setting : ‘How to say No without hurting someone’s feelings’

Today, we dive into the topic of people-pleasing and how it can be detrimental to our well-being.

I shared five ways for your people-pleasing audience to say No politely and without hurting someone’s feelings.

I understand that saying a flat no can be difficult for recovering people-pleasers, so I’m providing 5 alternative ways to decline requests gently but firmly.

You can watch the video or read the modified transcript below if you wish!

• ✨Read Transcript

  I was seething when this happened many years ago.

  “Okay Shikah,” my lazy colleague flopped herself comfortably on the sofa in our meeting room at my former workplace.

  “You can take notes for this meeting and email them to all of us,” she continued.

  I baulked.

  “No thanks. I think we are capable of writing our own notes,” I retorted calmly.

  Inside, I was burning with anger.

  There she is again. Trying to bully me to do work for her whenever she has a chance, I thought furiously.

  I said No because if I allow someone to ‘make use’ of my kindness once, it will happen again. Usually.

  I am lucky I’ve learnt how to set boundaries at the right time.

  And I feel deeply for people-pleasers who get into a mental tussle whenever someone asks them for a ‘favour’ they dont want to do.

  I created the done for you Overcome People Pleasing masterclass for them and for you to have your own people-pleasing masterclass with the slides and script I’ve done for you.

  And at the same time, help your clients feel more confident while you make money with the masterclass replays.

  You make a difference and get paid for this wonderful transformation - just the way we like it :)

  Anyway, I digress.

  Today, I’m sharing 5 ways for your clients to say No politely.

  For recovering people-pleasers, saying a flat No can feel too harsh.

  So we cushion the No such that your people-pleasing audience feels less saying No to unreasonable tasks.

  Here are 5 ways your people-pleasing clients can say No politely:

  1. “Let me think about it.” If their default answer to every request is Yes, this buys them some time to think through and craft a polite No.

  2. “ I have an appointment later, I cant do that for you today.” I may get shot for this, but I think telling a white lie or two is okay if your clients are in the process of recovering from people pleasing. Just say ‘I cant do that - I have plans after this’ to an undesired request, even if the only plan they have is one with Netflix and chips.

  3. “I can’t do that for you as I’m busy but I can show you how to do it.” If your clients have the time and patience, they can ‘tutor’ the other person how to get that unwanted task done.

  4. “I’m sorry but I can’t promise I can get this done.” This is a very polite way of saying No and hopefully the asker gets the hint and buzzes off.

  5. If your client is sick and tired of this same person asking them for unnecessary favours all the time because they are lazy? A simple “No. I think you are capable of doing that yourself.”

  There you have it. Five ways to say No politely.

  Please share these 5 ways with your audience. In your reels, in your IG ‘lives’ or expand this into a podcast episode. Spread the word.

  If you want a free people-pleasing test to let your audience find out fi they have mild or severe people-pleasing tendencies, head to the show notes or description box.

  And if you want to launch your own people-pleasing masterclass but are too busy to create one yourself, you can get my done-for-you masterclass.

  Thank you for the work you do, Coaches.

Thank you for the work you do, Coaches.

Sincerely,

Shikah

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If you want to launch your own people-pleasing masterclass but too busy to create one yourself, you can take the shortcut and get my done-for-you people-pleasing masterclass.

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In case you are curious about my background…

How rewriting your story and changing your narrative can make you a more productive coach

Today, we're talking about the power of introducing new actions to change our negative ‘stories’ or narratives that hold us back as entrepreneurs.

We’ve all been there - struggling to write emails, social media posts - you name it. If we can introduce new actions into our lives, we can change our narratives very quickly.

Listen or watch my video below to see how I applied this ‘rewriting your story’ technique to become more productive :)

• ✨Read Transcript

  Welcome back to another episode of Mindset with Shikah!

  On today's episode, we're diving into the power of introducing new actions to change our negative narratives and stories that hold us back from being more productive.

  I had the inspired action to share this with you as I was designing a people-pleasing workbook and got distracted. 

  If you are wondering what is holding you back from :

  1) Just pushing yourself a bit more and creating 3 Instagram posts instead of just 1 post in one sitting.

  2) Batch writing emails instead of just writing one email at one sitting (who can relate?)

  … you may just need to introduce a new action or a new habit to change your narrative or the not-so-positive story you’ve been telling yourself. 

  (You can also share this technique to overcome negative narratives with your clients. )

  For the longest time, I had the narrative that “I can only write one meaningful email in one sitting.” I know, it’s nothing to be proud of.

  But I yearn to be more productive and challenge myself to write at least 2 meaningful intentional emails in one sitting.

  So I introduced a new habit : I disciplined myself to write TWO meaningful emails in every sitting. 

  Was it painful for the first few times? Yes!

  But did I continue with it because I truly want to change my narrative? Also yes.

  And now writing two juicy emails in one sitting becomes automatic to me.

  My new narrative is now “I can write two meaningful emails in one sitting.” 😂 

  You may ask me: "Shikah, how long did you take to rewrite this narrative?"

  For me, it took maybe 3 to 4 sessions of writing two emails in one sitting for it to be a new narrative and new habit for me.

  Now I have this new narrative, I want to change other small narratives to make myself a little more productive yet remain largely intentional.

  Is there a small narrative that is holding you back from being a bit more productive? Let me know 🙂

Thank you for all that you do, Coaches.

Sincerely,

Shikah

FREE People Pleaser Test and 9 Prompts to Coach Boundary setting

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Download your own ‘Am I a People-Pleaser?’ quiz and use it as a lead magnet to grow your coaching mailing list

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Watch this blog post here :)

Transcript :

When your clients have had weak boundaries for too long, asking them to suddenly set boundaries can give them a mild anxiety attack.

“How do I even start?”

“Won’t I be seen as a ‘bad’ person?”

“How would I know if I’m setting healthy boundaries or being selfish?"

The last question is one which many people-pleasers battle the most.

Your audience may suspect that they have people-pleasing issues but may not be sure how to set boundaries without being seen as a ‘cold-hearted, selfish prick.’

In Lesson 3 of my brand new done-for-you Overcome People Masterclass, I shared 10 ways for you to coach your clients to say ‘No’ to unreasonable requests and still remain polite.

But first things first : If your clients are torn as to whether they should say Yes or No to a request, they can use these 9 prompts to point them to the right answer.

“Should I say Yes or No to this request?”

Nine prompts to help your clients decide if they should say Yes or No to a request:

1. Do I have the time to do this?

2. What will I have to give up to do this?

3. Will I feel pressured to get it done?

4. Will I be upset with myself after saying yes?

5. Will I resent the person asking if I say ‘yes’?

6. Will I feel duped, had, or coerced?

7. Why am I agreeing? What do I gain from saying ‘yes’? What do I lose if I say ‘yes’?

8. How will I feel as I’m doing this task if I say ‘yes’? Will I feel resentful?

9. If I am a fully confident version of myself, will I still say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to this request?

So, what can you do next? 

Record a quick video and share the 9 prompts in your Instagram reels, get some views + help the people-pleasers out there :)

Of course, the best approach is to at least have a 60-minute Zoom masterclass to coach your audience to kick off their people pleasing habits.

If creating a masterclass seems like too much of a headache for you (I feel your pain!)  you can get my done-for-you Overcome People Pleasing masterclass where the slides, workbook and even script are already done for you :) 

So, how will you share the 9 boundary-setting prompts with your audience today? :)

Thank you for all that you do, Coaches.

Sincerely,

Shikah

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✨NEW FOR YOU : Done-for-you Overcome People-pleasing Masterclass

Here’s what you’ll get with this done-for-you masterclass:

• You get 80 well-thought-out Canva slides which I’ve created with my counselling experience, sharp observation and research. I’ve also personally created exercises which work best in a masterclass setting

• You get an accompanying workbook so that your audience remembers the concepts clearly + solidifying your stand as a genuine, effective coach.

• You will get a FULL written script so you will be a smooth presenter during the masterclass.

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