(Free Printable) How Not to Care What Other People Think and Live Your Purpose
Caring too much about what other people think will stop us from living our purpose. I’m sharing 5 mindset shifts for you to not care what other people think and finally chase your goals.
Caring what other people think will prevent us from living our desired life or ‘our purpose’.
Caring too much about offending someone, being the topic of gossip, “what other people will say” will hold us back.
It doesn’t benefit us to be scared of other people’s judgement.
It creates frustration. Unhappiness. Totally not worth it.
And prevents you from expressing and living your purpose in life.
If you want to find your purpose, you can key in your email address and I’ll send the ‘My Life Purpose Action Sheet’ to your inbox.
If you learn better through videos, you can choose to watch the video version of this blog entry:
If you are ready, let’s learn 5 real-life practical mindset shifts we can adopt today to not care what other people think!
1. We are not that important!
I hope I did not kill your confidence with that sentence.
What I meant is…
Other people are more worried about their own problems and self-image.
Oh, and they are more worried about how other people see them.
In fact, their dinner plans for today are more important than you or me.
So in reality, we are not occupying other people’s minds much.
That’s what I meant when I wrote ‘We are not that important.’
Which is good news because it makes us feel free to do what we want without worrying too much about what other people think!
2. People will gossip for 5 minutes max
Yes, your friends, ex-colleagues and so on will talk about you if you try something new.
For about 5 minutes, that is.
After that, they will change the topic or talk about another person or the weather.
Some people will continue talking about you for days or weeks. But they will usually stop after some time because
1) it gets boring
2) they’ve gotten used to the ‘new you’.
So yes, the beginning stages of trying something new or ‘putting yourself out there’ will be painful.
You will grow thick skin after that and will not care so much about what other people of your new projects!
3. People are kinder than you think
Our minds are programmed to focus on negativity.
But in reality, people are actually kinder than we think.
Let’s say you have created a self-help video or IG TV video for the first time and feel terrified to upload it and let your friends know. (Been there, done that!!)
You can be fighting the urge to upload it for days or months because you care about what others think of you.
If you choose to upload it after pondering, you will realise that your (genuine) friends + family will usually support you.
Some of them will even secretly admire you for having the guts to put yourself out there.
Many people are petrified of sharing their perspectives and opinions in public.
Your first video or blog entry or passion project will suck. I will promise you that. (Hehe)
But the more you practise creating, the better you get. I promise you that too.
True story:
When I first made a self-help video “How to Be More Decisive”, I fought for my iPhone with my husband for 1 hour because I simply could not click the ‘Post’ button on Facebook.
He pushed me to upload it. But I was terrified of ‘putting myself out there’ for the first time.
When I published it, I received so many supportive comments from people. (I was beyond embarrassed at that time that people I know were watching it.)
The video quality was bad, the video was shaky and I was nervous as heck (although I do think the content was useful. Haha).
I’ve not created many videos since then because I prefer writing.
My point is, don’t worry too much about what others think because most people are nice. And are likely to support your work.
4. Not everyone on earth will like you and your message
This.
There are 7.7 billion people on earth. You can’t make every one of them like you.
Your message or perspective may not resonate with some people.
Some people won’t like how you speak.
Some will not like how you look.
And that is fine.
That’s why there are so many life coaches out there, for example. I may not resonate with Coach A but I may like Coach B.
You will not be everyone’s cup of tea.
I know that I have friends who don’t resonate with my views on self-love and self-worth.
But it’s okay to me because self-love and personal development are not for everyone!
5. How to find your purpose
Your purpose does not fall far from your joy.
’Purpose’ does not always mean saving the world.
Some of us have a purpose like that, whereas some of us have a different purpose.
If you want to find your life’s purpose, I have created an action sheet with 3 questions to help you discover it.
Some of us are destined to be caregivers in our family (such as happy stay-at-home-mums, happy elderly caregivers or people who work joyfully in the caregiving industry).
Whether we have a larger-than-life purpose or a ‘smaller’ one, it does not matter.
Because we all need each other to thrive.
Caring too much about what others think will chain us from living our purpose.
If finding your purpose is something you are working on, answer the 3 questions in the ‘My Life Purpose Action Sheet’ and you will be 1 step closer to finding it!
Have a good week.
Shikah
(Free Printable) How to Start Intentional Living and Feel In Control of Your Life : 5 Easy Ways
I’ve discovered 5 daily actions to kick-start your intentional living journey. You can also download the 25 Days of Intentional Living printable to challenge yourself to live with intention.
Intentional living is not always easy to me.
It requires energy. Time. Being present.
So why does everyone talk about intentional living these days?
That’s because…it makes us feel more in control of our lives and creates a life worth living.
A life made of well thought-out actions will shortcut the way to reaching our aims and goals.
Our journey to achieving our goals - be it big or small goals - becomes more enjoyable.
Some of us are not sure how to start intentional living.
I’ve compiled 5 simple ways for you to start your journey towards intentional living.
If you want a shortcut, you can download the 25 Days of Intentional Living printable below.
1. How to make meditation easy in the mornings
I’ll admit that meditating in the morning is hard work.
That’s because it means I’ll have to wake up earlier. And fight the drowsiness whilst I sit cross-legged and calm my mind.
Not very appealing.
Meditation is so important to intentional living, in my opinion. I will usually have a clear mind after that - which means I make better, intentional choices.
I’ve found 4 ways to make meditation easier in the mornings:
Use guided meditation. I personally like Jason Stephenson’s meditations on YouTube. I stick to a 15-30 minute meditation because I usually have a ton of things to settle in the morning!
Plan your morning the night before. (Yes - every blogger says this. Haha.) We can start by writing 3 things we will do once we wake up. So, mine is typically: Shower, coffee, meditation time. In any order depending on my mood.
‘Warm up’ to your meditation time. Have your tea or coffee first, read, stretch, shower, do your chores etc. Make sure you are fully awake before meditation starts. If not, you’ll end up dozing off in the middle of it (been there done that!).
Choose guided meditations which you enjoy! Please don’t torture yourself by meditating to something you don’t like even if the guided meditation is wildly popular. What works for others, may not work for you. YouTube is a GREAT source of guided meditations!
2. Choose joyful decisions
Sometimes when making decisions, we are not sure which option brings us ‘joy’.
Especially when we have grown up in a family where we are not allowed to have what we want. (this topic needs another blog post on its own ;) )
If you don’t know which option brings you ‘joy’, choose the option which gives you feelings of relief.
Intentional living applies even when we are ordering tea or coffee at Starbucks. Choose a drink which brings up feelings of joy or relief.
Some of you who are more in tune with your feelings will be bewildered and ask “But…how can anyone not know which option makes him or her happy?”
It’s more normal than we think. From young,we’ve been trained to follow our logic and downplay what we truly want.
So sometimes, we get confused between what we want and what we have been taught is ‘good for us’.
But I digress. For intentional living, choose options which make us happy - even when we are picking the blouse we want to wear to work the next day.
It makes us feel more in control of our lives.
3. Have a reason behind every main action we take
This is a tough one.
It takes a lot of mental energy to have a reason behind the actions we take.
But this is the basis of intentional living. Every choice we make has to have a reason…because it makes life more enjoyable!
For example, when we pick up our phones to look through Instagram, intentionally choose whose profiles we are going to view.
I’ll admit that I am particularly intentional when doing my makeup almost every day.
It makes the whole process more enjoyable instead of a chore. The best way to do this is to watch YouTube videos and get inspired by new makeup looks and techniques to try for the day.
You can use this tactic for any of your chores or un-enjoyable activity.
There are even cleaning motivation videos on YouTube to motivate us to do household chores!
Try a new way of doing your daily tasks. Even if your reason for doing something is: ‘I want to see if this new technique works!’ - it’s enough as long as you have a reason for doing that activity!
4. Unplug as much as possible!
When I was a member of a yoga studio, I relished yoga classes because of how fresh, clear-minded and calmer I felt after every class.
It hit me that a large part of this was because I was away from my phone for at least an hour.
I’ve realised that I have a clearer mind, am calmer and make more intentional decisions when I’ve put my phone and laptop away for about 45 minutes or so.
If we want to surf the Net, write down what we are surfing for. And stick to that list.
It saves your time and precious energy.
Also, unplug for 1 hour before going to bed at night. It helps you have a restful sleep…which brings us to the next point.
5. Lastly, please be well rested
I’m sure many of us have made terrible decisions when we were feeling sleepy, grumpy and irritated.
Having good sleep and resting especially when we feel burnt out is crucial to intentional living. Crucial!
That’s because not having enough sleep and rest will lead to us making bad decisions.
You’ll notice that you start craving for chocolate biscuits and frappuccinos on autopilot on the days when you feel exhausted and did not sleep well.
In fact, it’s scientifically-proven that we crave for sweet treats when we are sleep-deprived! That’s one bad decision for the day.
I felt burnt out recently. Part of me wanted to push through and complete 1 blog entry. But as much as I pushed myself, the write-up felt stiff and was such a chore to do.
Hence, I decided to practise intentional living and did what felt good at that time - which was to lie down in bed watching videos and letting my mind rest. My burnout faded pretty quickly.
Have a good week.
Shikah