(Video) How Not to Care What People Think and Live Freely
If you are doing something new and you are self-conscious about what people will think of you, I have 5 mindset shifts which can help you overcome that fear!
Having self-esteem means we have the courage to chase our goals and live freely.
If you are doing something for the first time (or doing something different), you may be worried about what your friends, ex-colleagues, relatives will say about you.
Don’t let this worry hold you back!
Watch my latest YouTube video where I’ll be sharing 5 mindset shifts you can adopt to live more freely.
(Free Printable) 25 Ideas to Start Intentional Living
I created a printable, 25 Days of Intentional Living, to help you kick-start your intentional living journey. I hope these activities will help you be more present in your everyday life!
When I wrote How to Start Intentional Living and Feel in Control of Your LIfe: 5 Ways, I didn’t know many people are interested in this topic. Many people are keen to know how to be more present amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
You can learn 5 strategies to be intentional if you have a busy lifestyle in this blog post.
Because many of us are practical and like to take action, I created the printable below: 25 Days of Intentional Living.
How do I use this printable?
If you are ambitious, you can aim for 1 activity a day.
If you like taking things slow (like myself), you can intentionally choose which activities you would like to do for this month.
And circle those activities on the printable when you are done!
You can download the 25 Days of Intentional Living printable below!
A 25-Day Intentional Living List to kick-start your intentional living journey.
unplug for 1 hour before bedtime
write down 3 things to accomplish tomorrow
Focus on your lunch without your phone
savour a mug of coffee slowly without phones (and people)
do a 15-minute yoga sequence from YouTube (eg: Yoga with Adrienne)
write in your journal for 10 minutes or more
wake up 30 minutes earlier + enjoy your shower and getting dressed
meditate for 20 minutes (eg. Jason Stephenson on YouTube)
read a book for 15 minutes or more with your phone away
go out for a walk in nature for 15 mins or more
enjoy playing with your pet or child for 15 minutes with no screens around
put your phone away whilst in a cab or subway and observe the people + sights around you
have lunch with a friend (or by yourself) and keep your phone in your bag the whole time
do intuitive walking.
cook or bake something you are excited about
enjoy a long, hot shower
read a magazine or newspaper from cover to cover
create a vision board for next year’s goals
have tea or lunch at a cafe you have always wanted to try
take a short trip (solo or not) to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go
mask, wash + blow dry your hair slowly and enjoy the process
unsubscribe from emails + unfollow IG accounts you don’t enjoy
create something you enjoy. (a hp wallpaper, a blog article, a video)
listen to motivational podcasts or audiobooks you enjoy
mindfully eat a meal which nourishes your body
I would like to know which of these 25 activities will work for you!
If you like another hands-on approach, you can check out my TOP 7 intentional living worksheets which you can download for free!
Meanwhile, have a good week.
Shikah
(Free Printable) How Not to Care What Other People Think and Live Your Purpose
Caring too much about what other people think will stop us from living our purpose. I’m sharing 5 mindset shifts for you to not care what other people think and finally chase your goals.
Caring what other people think will prevent us from living our desired life or ‘our purpose’.
Caring too much about offending someone, being the topic of gossip, “what other people will say” will hold us back.
It doesn’t benefit us to be scared of other people’s judgement.
It creates frustration. Unhappiness. Totally not worth it.
And prevents you from expressing and living your purpose in life.
If you want to find your purpose, you can key in your email address and I’ll send the ‘My Life Purpose Action Sheet’ to your inbox.
If you learn better through videos, you can choose to watch the video version of this blog entry:
If you are ready, let’s learn 5 real-life practical mindset shifts we can adopt today to not care what other people think!
1. We are not that important!
I hope I did not kill your confidence with that sentence.
What I meant is…
Other people are more worried about their own problems and self-image.
Oh, and they are more worried about how other people see them.
In fact, their dinner plans for today are more important than you or me.
So in reality, we are not occupying other people’s minds much.
That’s what I meant when I wrote ‘We are not that important.’
Which is good news because it makes us feel free to do what we want without worrying too much about what other people think!
2. People will gossip for 5 minutes max
Yes, your friends, ex-colleagues and so on will talk about you if you try something new.
For about 5 minutes, that is.
After that, they will change the topic or talk about another person or the weather.
Some people will continue talking about you for days or weeks. But they will usually stop after some time because
1) it gets boring
2) they’ve gotten used to the ‘new you’.
So yes, the beginning stages of trying something new or ‘putting yourself out there’ will be painful.
You will grow thick skin after that and will not care so much about what other people of your new projects!
3. People are kinder than you think
Our minds are programmed to focus on negativity.
But in reality, people are actually kinder than we think.
Let’s say you have created a self-help video or IG TV video for the first time and feel terrified to upload it and let your friends know. (Been there, done that!!)
You can be fighting the urge to upload it for days or months because you care about what others think of you.
If you choose to upload it after pondering, you will realise that your (genuine) friends + family will usually support you.
Some of them will even secretly admire you for having the guts to put yourself out there.
Many people are petrified of sharing their perspectives and opinions in public.
Your first video or blog entry or passion project will suck. I will promise you that. (Hehe)
But the more you practise creating, the better you get. I promise you that too.
True story:
When I first made a self-help video “How to Be More Decisive”, I fought for my iPhone with my husband for 1 hour because I simply could not click the ‘Post’ button on Facebook.
He pushed me to upload it. But I was terrified of ‘putting myself out there’ for the first time.
When I published it, I received so many supportive comments from people. (I was beyond embarrassed at that time that people I know were watching it.)
The video quality was bad, the video was shaky and I was nervous as heck (although I do think the content was useful. Haha).
I’ve not created many videos since then because I prefer writing.
My point is, don’t worry too much about what others think because most people are nice. And are likely to support your work.
4. Not everyone on earth will like you and your message
This.
There are 7.7 billion people on earth. You can’t make every one of them like you.
Your message or perspective may not resonate with some people.
Some people won’t like how you speak.
Some will not like how you look.
And that is fine.
That’s why there are so many life coaches out there, for example. I may not resonate with Coach A but I may like Coach B.
You will not be everyone’s cup of tea.
I know that I have friends who don’t resonate with my views on self-love and self-worth.
But it’s okay to me because self-love and personal development are not for everyone!
5. How to find your purpose
Your purpose does not fall far from your joy.
’Purpose’ does not always mean saving the world.
Some of us have a purpose like that, whereas some of us have a different purpose.
If you want to find your life’s purpose, I have created an action sheet with 3 questions to help you discover it.
Some of us are destined to be caregivers in our family (such as happy stay-at-home-mums, happy elderly caregivers or people who work joyfully in the caregiving industry).
Whether we have a larger-than-life purpose or a ‘smaller’ one, it does not matter.
Because we all need each other to thrive.
Caring too much about what others think will chain us from living our purpose.
If finding your purpose is something you are working on, answer the 3 questions in the ‘My Life Purpose Action Sheet’ and you will be 1 step closer to finding it!
Have a good week.
Shikah
(Free Printable) 5 Powerful Habits for Self Love
Self-love is about respecting our wants, our values and creating boundaries for our own good.
It’s not obvious, but many of us women lack self-love.
We can’t switch to being a self-loving person in a snap, but I have a ‘Love Your Quirks’ worksheet which helps you to re-frame, or rather, see how your ‘weaknesses’ can be helpful for you. :)
Self love is not selfish.
Self-love is about respecting our wants, our values and creating boundaries for our own good.
For some of us, we were taught to respect other people, but not to respect ourselves.
This leads to self-sacrificing behaviour, confusion about our own likes and dislikes, and much unhappiness.
We can’t switch to being a self-loving person in a snap, but I have a ‘Love Your Quirks’ worksheet which helps you to re-frame, or rather, see how your ‘weaknesses’ can be helpful for you.
Here are the 5 habits for self-love:
Habit #1 : Be brave and say ‘no’
If you are a people-pleaser or a genuinely nice person, saying ‘no’ is usually difficult for you.
Heck, practising self love is also challenge for you!
If you feel that someone is trying to take advantage of you, you can use one of the 5 ways below to say no without offending (much).
*Here are 5 ways for you to say ‘no’ without offending.
I’m busy at the moment so I can’t help you with XXX.
I think we should do XXX ourselves.
I’m not comfortable doing XXX.
I can’t help you with XXX right now. Maybe next time.
No, not today. Sorry about that! (no explanation given)
*All the above can be said in a neutral or in a pleasant tone of voice.
Saying no builds self respect.
You are also protecting yourself from over-committing, burning yourself out, doing something you don’t want to do and feeling terrible about it.
Habit #2: Listen to your body
How do we ‘listen to our bodies’? We’ve heard this phrase so many times, but how do we do it daily for self love purposes?
Be aware of your bodily sensations.
If you are sleepy, take a nap. If you are hungry, eat. If you are thirsty, get a drink. If your eyes feel strained, take a break from your laptop. If your skin feels dry, slap on a sheet mask. If you feel like doing some stretching, do it. If you feel the need to talk to your husband, do so.
Catch the drift? :) The steps above are simple, but not always easy to do.
That is because many of us are used to suppressing or ignoring our bodily sensations.
When you are hungry, be present and find out what your body wants to eat today.
It can be as random as a peach or maybe you are drawn to a fast food meal at that time. As long as you are balanced when eating, your body can handle some fried food here and there.
If your body feels tired, rest. Many of us have a habit of ‘powering through’ our exhaustion.
This makes us unproductive. Feeling terrible (and looking terrible to boot).
Surprisingly, when you rest (make sure you clear your mind too - very important.), you will have more energy to complete your work later on.
You will finish your work in maybe half the time as compared to bulldozing through your exhaustion to get it done. You can bet that the work will be of better quality too.
Habit #3: Good vibes only
A HUGE part of self-love is being very selective about whom you accept in your social circle.
Surround yourself with positive people. How do you know if someone should be included in your circle?
If that person makes you feel good 90% of the time, he or she is a keeper.
I would like to add that you should only be friends with people who have healthy self-esteem. People with healthy self-esteem will support you and be happy for you when you succeed.
People with good self-esteem are usually transparent with their actions, words and feelings.
If you have ever doubted if a friend is happy for your success or not - that ‘friend’ might have to be kicked out of your circle soon.
And genuine friends don’t give ‘mixed signals’.
Get rid of frenemies, Debby Downers, complainers, backstabbers, toxic people, people who like breaking friendships and relationships, highly insecure people. (Don’t underestimate the toxicity level of a highly insecure ‘friend’.)
To put it lightly, these people will give you headaches and heartaches. We don’t have time for that!
Also….be sure that we are not one of those toxic people mentioned above! But that will be for another blog post for another time.
Habit #4: Don’t be so harsh on yourself
Forgive yourself.
Even your good friends and family don’t expect you to be perfect. Why should you?
Even the person you admire most has made many mistakes. Sometimes, we will accidentally say something which hurts someone else. We might do the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Learn something from those slip-ups, forgive yourself and move on.
Habit #5: Love your ‘weaknesses’
I’m sure you can come up with 3 of your weaknesses in 5 seconds flat.
As humans, we are programmed to focus on the negative aspects of something - which,sadly, includes focusing on the negative aspects of ourselves.
Embrace them as part of you. Admit that you are nervous about public speaking, you tend to procrastinate and so on.
I have a candid worksheet - ‘Love Your Quirks’ - which helps you view how your ‘weaknesses’ can be helpful in some situations.
For example: I am an over-thinker, thus I wrote down how overthinking has helped me in 2 situations.
If you have children, you can complete this worksheet with them as well. It helps them to re-frame how they view their own perceived ‘weaknesses’.
If you want a copy of this worksheet, you can download it below.
Have a good week!
Shikah
