Free Coaching Tool - 47 Coaching Questions to Ask Your Clients when You Feel Stuck
I’ve created a free coaching tool - 47 coaching questions to help you during your coaching sessions. Feel confident in front of your clients & prospects by asking the right questions!
I will be sharing a powerful coaching tool with you: 47 coaching questions to help you feel confident in front of your coaching clients.
I remember the first time I saw my first counsellee in 2011.
I was so nervous that I prepared a sheet of paper with about 30 coaching questions so that I won’t be stuck or lost!
If you are a new coach, I understand the jitters.
That is why I have prepared this list of 47 coaching questions to help you. No more fumbling around, saying “umm..”, feeling panicked because you don’t know what to reply and so on.
You can download this coaching tool below:
You will feel confident facing your clients which means your clients will have confidence in you too.
The first few times seeing clients will be nerve-wrecking.
But it becomes easier and will come to you naturally as you coach more clients. Most clients are cooperative.
Practice is key!
Ok, this coaching tool sounds great. So what are these 47 powerful coaching questions?
For this coaching worksheet, I have divided the questions into 5 sections:
General coaching questions
Low self-esteem coaching questions (if you need a self-love coaching tool, click here)
‘Life problems’ coaching questions
Self discovery coaching questions
Goal-setting questions
Below is a preview of the 47 coaching questions:
Of course you can choose to download this coaching tool below so it’s easier for you to use during coaching sessions.
More related coaching tools for you...
You may find the tools below helpful.
I created these tools for individuals but there is no reason you can’t use them with your clients.
If you want a brandable Self-esteem Workbook to use with your clients, you can get it here.
There are 21 ready-to-use worksheets to help your clients increase their self-esteem to pursue their goals. Just add your logo to the worksheets and they are ready to go!
Meanwhile, have a good week.
Shikah
How to Finally Overcome ‘All or Nothing’ Thinking - a Perfectionism Mindset
Perfectionism is caused by all or nothing thinking. I will share 1 brave method for you to beat all-or-nothing thinking. This will be your first step to overcome perfectionism and feel less anxious. It takes time to overcome perfectionism. But if you can tone down your perfectionism even by just a little bit, you will feel more relaxed about life!
One brave method to overcome ‘all or nothing’ thinking which is common amongst perfectionists.
What are you perfectionistic about?
It can be your appearance, your work, your house and some of us are even perfectionists with our hobby. Or you may be perfectionistic with all the four aspects above.
I don’t want to shoot perfectionism down, because it has its good points.
But with anything else in life, too much of anything - such as perfectionism - is going to make you anxious, exhausted, not relaxed and basically hate your life.
It all starts with an ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality.
If you need a worksheet to help you tone down your perfectionism and be productive, you can download the Pause Perfectionism worksheet below.
6 Examples of All or Nothing Thinking
“If I’m not going to stick to the diet 100%, might as well not start in the first place.”
“If I don’t look well-groomed all the time, I might bump into ex-colleagues and old friends and they will think I’ve let myself go.”
“If I don’t publish my blog post today, I’m a failure.”
“If I don’t keep my house spotless and clean when my friends come over, they will think I’m lazy and dirty.”
“Well, if I’m not a success and become popular doing what I do, what’s the point of starting?”
“If I publish a video and someone criticises how I speak, I’m doomed.”
The dangers of all-or-nothing thinking
We are usually not this harsh with our friends and family. But strangely, we punish ourselves.
All or nothing thinking is believing in extremes.
Many things in life are not black-and-white. If you are a perfectionist, you will be frustrated with this idea. Like, what’s the point of doing something if we don’t succeed in it, right?
All or nothing thinking means:
We will have low self-esteem. Which means we’ll never have the confidence to do things out of our comfort zone to pursue our goals.
We punish ourselves by expecting ourselves to excel at something when we may be gifted in other areas
We don’t even try something we want to do because it will be a ‘waste of time.’
We overwork or spend too much time on little things which are not a matter of life and death. As a result: We don’t enjoy motherhood, working, exercising, reading, hobbies because we want to do everything right.
We are highly anxious all the time. Not fun at all.
We will be fatigued all the time because our minds are constantly thinking, analysing, evaluating.
How to overcome all-or-nothing thinking
I will propose something which will make all the perfectionists reading this cringe and have panic attacks.
I call it the 4-Step All or nothing Exercise.
Step 1: I will ask you to choose 1 all-or-nothing goal or standard you have.
Step 2: what goes through your mind if you do it or don’t achieve it?
Step 3: Next week, set a date to deliberately not achieve your all-or-nothing standard (gasp!).
Step 4: Record what happens.
I will give you an example.
Step 1: “I MUST keep my house and all the rooms 100% sparkling clean when guests come over."
Step 2: “If I don’t keep my house spotless and clean when my friends come over, they will think I’m lazy and dirty. They will find out my embarrassing habits at home.”
Step 3: “I will invite my friends to my house next Tuesday. I will only clean the living room and toilets the morning itself. I will leave the other rooms as they are. Maybe just a quick sweep for the other rooms.'“
Step 4: See if your friends notice (or mind) the state of your house not being 100% perfect. Record it down.
You may need to repeat Step 3 a few times before you can truly relax and let go about perfectionism regarding your home.
You may also find these overcome perfectionism articles helpful:
How to Handle a Stressful Situation
I know that many of us are perfectionists because we have low self-esteem!
If you want to start overcoming low self-esteem and be brave to pursue your goals, you can check out my Ebook - Be Your Own Self-Esteem Coach.
Or you can take the first step and download the Pause Perfectionism and Feel Relaxed worksheet.
Meanwhile, have a good week!
Shikah
Failure Motivation: How to go from Shameful to Feeling Empowered
I’ll be sharing some mindset shifts + a Stay Positive Worksheet to help you feel empowered after failing or making mistakes. Be prepared for some failure motivation!
I’ll be sharing some mindset shifts you can adopt so you can feel motivated when you have ‘failed .’
You can download the Stay Positive worksheet below to help you get perspective (and feel empowered) when things go belly up.
Let’s get started!
I’ve failed miserably. Now what?
If you are a perfectionist, failing is like death. It’s embarrassing, mortifying and stomach-churningly shameful.
I’m not sure how you define failure.
Perhaps you did not achieve a goal you announced publicly. Maybe you started something and nobody showed up (ouch). Maybe you flopped badly during a presentation in front of your colleagues.
If we don’t make mistakes in life, we don’t learn.
‘Failures’ and mistakes mean we took a risk against our inner critic. Don’t let yourself be defined by your mistakes.
Besides, failures and mistakes are just ‘feedback’ that our strategies are not working.
If you want to feel calmer and less mortified about your mistakes, you can download the Stay Positive worksheet below.
You list down 3 valuable points your ‘failure’ has taught you. It sounds simple, but feels empowering if done right!
But everyone else thinks I’m a failure! How do I handle that?
Maybe you have accepted your mistake and moved on.
But you feel as though other people are still talking about you and your ‘mistake’.
My questions are...
Are people really talking about you? How long are they going to gossip and think about you? (clue: not very long)
Do some of them actually secretly admire your guts?
People are usually kind. They may even be sympathetic towards your ‘failure’.
Your life is your journey. Everybody’s journey is different. Some people can stick to a job for 20 years (good for them).
Some of us like to switch jobs and try new things. Some of us don’t like the 9-5. Some of us like doing volunteer work over working.
Some of us like to go out of our comfort zones and do things other people call ‘risky’ or a ‘waste of time.’
Successful people make more mistakes than the average person. Remember that.
Hence, it is okay to explore new things (and flop along the way).
Why did I fail?
Maybe you were not committed enough. If it makes sense, give yourself 3 years of commitment for any venture or job before calling it quits.
Maybe you were not 100% into the project. Some part of your psyche does not want you to succeed. “Because if I’m a success, I will have a new set of friends and lose my current friends.” So you hold yourself back to keep your relationships. Self sabotage, anyone?
My last words on ‘failure’…
If you want to stop feeling shameful whenever you make mistakes, you can download the Stay Positive worksheet.
It helps you gain perspective and feel more relaxed about your ‘failures’.
The more mistakes we make, the more we will learn.
Meanwhile, have a good week!
Shikah
(Free Worksheet) How to Stay Positive when Facing a Problem
If you want to learn how to stay positive when life gets hard, you can download the Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet here!
A few weeks ago, I received an email from one of my readers whom I will call ‘Carrie’.
There is a lot more to her email, but I will address 1 issue first: her mindset about her autoimmune disease.
Carrie is an attractive woman in her late 30s.
She feels inconvenienced by her autoimmune disease and it has held her back from living the kind of life she wants.
She also wants a relationship badly, but it does not seem to be happening right now.
I racked my brain thinking about a shortcut to make women like Carrie feel positive when life throws lemons at us.
In short, we need a mindset shift.
The Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet
This worksheet sounds simple. But trust me, it can change your perspective and make you feel empowered almost instantly.
When to apply this Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet:
I will recommend you to do this exercise AFTER you have accepted the unwanted event(s) in your life.
Don’t do this exercise when you are still feeling raw, in pain or in grief. We want our answers to be objective in this exercise.
How to do this Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet:
If you best friend has the same problem as you, how would you help her complete this worksheet?
That is one way to help you visualise how to use this worksheet.
Sometimes, we have to be downright creative. If you have a really bad problem, dig deep and be as creative as you can to find its positive aspects. Or get a good friend to help you with this exercise.
You can revisit this worksheet and re-do it again as the months pass.
Your perspective may change as time goes on. It’s quite interesting to see how our mindset and perspective shift over time.
An example for you
For this Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet, you will be required to list 3 positive points for every issue that you have.
For Carrie, these are 3 positive points about her health issue:
Positive #1: Her health issue has led her to live a healthier lifestyle. She has to be gluten-free, vegan and exercise regularly. Her body will thank her in the long run.
Positive #2: Carrie feels very motivated to chase her personal goals. She may realise that life is short and she feels inspired to start the activities which she has procrastinated upon all these years.
Positive #3: Carrie may learn to be more present and be in the moment. This will lead her to enjoy life more and be more relaxed.
There are many ways to be creative with this exercise.
To help you stay positive when facing life’s problems, you can download the Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet below:
If you want to share a mindset or self-esteem issue that you have, you can click the button below:
I will address it in my blog post or email newsletter if time permits! (your name and details will be confidential, of course).
Have a good week!
Shikah
How to Stop Procrastinating due to Fear of Failure
I’m sharing 5 tips to stop procrastinating so you can achieve your goals. Fear of failure may be the cause of your procrastination. Overcoming procrastination means we have to be truthful to ourselves and find the reasons WHY we are procrastinating the way we do.
I will be sharing 5 ways to stop procrastinating due to fear of failure.
If we have low self-esteem, chances are we procrastinate due to fear of failure. We associate mistakes with our value as a person.
In the video below, I will share with you how we can do a mindset shift about our perfectionistic thoughts and practical ways to stop procrastinating in our day-to-day lives.
What you will learn from this video:
The 1-hour rule to be productive
Overcoming perfectionistic thoughts + worksheet recommendation
Tackle the easy or difficult tasks first?
The best time to do your work
How not to be fearful of failing
If you are a perfectionist, the Pause Perfectionism cheatsheet + this overcome perfectionism article will be helpful when you are overwhelmed with perfectionistic thoughts and procrastinating.
Featured in this video:
3 Actions to Overcome Perfectionism
14 Days of Self-love. Create a self-loving mindset and live life on your own terms
Meanwhile, have a good week!
Shikah
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