(Free Test) Do you have low or high self-esteem? | Be Pretty Confident Masterclass Video #1
Find out if you are a woman with low or high self-esteem. A self-esteem test is included too! This is Video #1 of my Be Pretty Confident Masterclass.
If you are attracted to this blog post, chances are, you may not have high self-esteem. Don’t be offended - this is nothing to be embarrassed about!
I’ve created the Be Pretty Confident Masterclass (free!) to help you boost your self-esteem and take the first step to achieving your goals.
In Video #1 below, I’ll help you identify if you are a woman with low or high self-esteem.
What you will learn from Video #1 of the Be Pretty Confident Masterclass:
Several characteristics of a woman with low self-esteem. Do you have them?
What are the real causes our low self-esteem?
Characteristics of a self-confident woman
A totally free + reliable test to find out your self-esteem level (download below)
Want a free and reliable test to check if you have low or high self-esteem? I’ll email it to you!
If you want to improve your self-esteem as soon as possible (and not have to hire a thousand-dollar coach for now), you can check out my powerful self-esteem binder.
All the best!
Shikah
(Free Printable) How to Overcome Self Critical thoughts and Feel More Confident
Overcome your self-critical thoughts with a worksheet I’ve created! We are not doing any ‘positive thinking’ here. We’ll be creating balanced, realistic thoughts to replace our self-critical thoughts. Check it out,
I’m sure we’ve heard of many positive thinking tactics.
Jumping from “I am a failure because I never finish the projects I created” to “I’m a successful person” is a big leap.
That’s why I prefer creating balanced, believable thoughts.
Your new thoughts have to be believable to yourself.
So today, we will learn how to create balanced, believable thoughts to overcome our self-critical thoughts over time.
This will require you to download my Thought Challenging Diary action sheet. You can get it below:
If you learn better with video, you can watch me teach you how to use this action sheet to improve your self-esteem below:
Let’s get started!
How do we create a new, balanced, feel-good thought to a replace self-critical thought?
We are not going to create ‘positive thoughts’ here.
We will be creating new thoughts which are balanced and realistic based on facts.
Why? Because our minds can accept balanced thoughts backed by evidence. When I mention balanced thoughts, I'm referring to thoughts backed by actual evidence.
That is why we are going to look for evidence against our negative thoughts in today's assignment.
Looking for evidence...
If one of your negative thoughts is "I am a failure and I give up easily", we are going to look for evidence in your life which proves this thought wrong.
Changing your unworthy thought from "I’m a failure" to "I’m a success!" is like jumping the Grand Canyon. Too far and too unrealistic at this point of time.
So we’ll go one step at a time to create a new balanced thought (backed by evidence) to replace the older, faulty, negative thought we used to have.
How?
If you have read this blog post about me teaching other coaches how to do this, the 2 steps below will seem familiar
Ask yourself these 4 questions to overcome self-critical thoughts the simple way
"How will my friend (insert your best friend’s name) view this situation?"
"If I’m in a good mood and feeling happy, how will I view this situation?"
"Is there any other perspective to view this situation?"
"What advice will I give my friend Karen if she has this same unhelpful thought?"
Complete the Thought Challenging Diary to overcome self-critical thoughts in-depth
We will be challenging AND supporting our self-critical thoughts with evidence.
You may ask: Why do we look for evidence to support our self-criticism? Isn’t that ironic?
Coming face to face with our ‘bad’ habits and “weaknesses” will bring awareness. And make sure we improve on them.
Let’s say my most distressing thought is:
"I’m a failure - I give up easily and not had success with many activities I start. This project is going to be the same."
I will look for evidence against this belief AND supporting this belief.
To make it easier, I will just upload my completed action sheet below:
Again, if you want a tutorial on this, you can watch the Youtube video I uploaded above.
What should I feel after this self-critical thoughts action sheet?
You should feel good about yourself after completing this exercise. More assured. More confident. More comfortable in your own skin.
This action sheet may take 10 minutes for some of us, or it may take longer. It is good to be intentional and honest when completing this!
I still struggle with poor self-esteem and negative thoughts. What should I do?
You may find this article I wrote on all-or-nothing thinking helpful.
If you want to take one step further, my self-esteem workbook with 21 practical exercises will improve your self-esteem drastically.
Any suggestions or questions for me? Shoot me an email at shikah@shikahanuar.com!
Meanwhile, have a good week.
Shikah
Free Coaching Tool - 47 Coaching Questions to Ask Your Clients when You Feel Stuck
I’ve created a free coaching tool - 47 coaching questions to help you during your coaching sessions. Feel confident in front of your clients & prospects by asking the right questions!
I will be sharing a powerful coaching tool with you: 47 coaching questions to help you feel confident in front of your coaching clients.
I remember the first time I saw my first counsellee in 2011.
I was so nervous that I prepared a sheet of paper with about 30 coaching questions so that I won’t be stuck or lost!
If you are a new coach, I understand the jitters.
That is why I have prepared this list of 47 coaching questions to help you. No more fumbling around, saying “umm..”, feeling panicked because you don’t know what to reply and so on.
You can download this coaching tool below:
You will feel confident facing your clients which means your clients will have confidence in you too.
The first few times seeing clients will be nerve-wrecking.
But it becomes easier and will come to you naturally as you coach more clients. Most clients are cooperative.
Practice is key!
Ok, this coaching tool sounds great. So what are these 47 powerful coaching questions?
For this coaching worksheet, I have divided the questions into 5 sections:
General coaching questions
Low self-esteem coaching questions (if you need a self-love coaching tool, click here)
‘Life problems’ coaching questions
Self discovery coaching questions
Goal-setting questions
Below is a preview of the 47 coaching questions:
Of course you can choose to download this coaching tool below so it’s easier for you to use during coaching sessions.
More related coaching tools for you...
You may find the tools below helpful.
I created these tools for individuals but there is no reason you can’t use them with your clients.
If you want a brandable Self-esteem Workbook to use with your clients, you can get it here.
There are 21 ready-to-use worksheets to help your clients increase their self-esteem to pursue their goals. Just add your logo to the worksheets and they are ready to go!
Meanwhile, have a good week.
Shikah
Failure Motivation: How to go from Shameful to Feeling Empowered
I’ll be sharing some mindset shifts + a Stay Positive Worksheet to help you feel empowered after failing or making mistakes. Be prepared for some failure motivation!
I’ll be sharing some mindset shifts you can adopt so you can feel motivated when you have ‘failed .’
You can download the Stay Positive worksheet below to help you get perspective (and feel empowered) when things go belly up.
Let’s get started!
I’ve failed miserably. Now what?
If you are a perfectionist, failing is like death. It’s embarrassing, mortifying and stomach-churningly shameful.
I’m not sure how you define failure.
Perhaps you did not achieve a goal you announced publicly. Maybe you started something and nobody showed up (ouch). Maybe you flopped badly during a presentation in front of your colleagues.
If we don’t make mistakes in life, we don’t learn.
‘Failures’ and mistakes mean we took a risk against our inner critic. Don’t let yourself be defined by your mistakes.
Besides, failures and mistakes are just ‘feedback’ that our strategies are not working.
If you want to feel calmer and less mortified about your mistakes, you can download the Stay Positive worksheet below.
You list down 3 valuable points your ‘failure’ has taught you. It sounds simple, but feels empowering if done right!
But everyone else thinks I’m a failure! How do I handle that?
Maybe you have accepted your mistake and moved on.
But you feel as though other people are still talking about you and your ‘mistake’.
My questions are...
Are people really talking about you? How long are they going to gossip and think about you? (clue: not very long)
Do some of them actually secretly admire your guts?
People are usually kind. They may even be sympathetic towards your ‘failure’.
Your life is your journey. Everybody’s journey is different. Some people can stick to a job for 20 years (good for them).
Some of us like to switch jobs and try new things. Some of us don’t like the 9-5. Some of us like doing volunteer work over working.
Some of us like to go out of our comfort zones and do things other people call ‘risky’ or a ‘waste of time.’
Successful people make more mistakes than the average person. Remember that.
Hence, it is okay to explore new things (and flop along the way).
Why did I fail?
Maybe you were not committed enough. If it makes sense, give yourself 3 years of commitment for any venture or job before calling it quits.
Maybe you were not 100% into the project. Some part of your psyche does not want you to succeed. “Because if I’m a success, I will have a new set of friends and lose my current friends.” So you hold yourself back to keep your relationships. Self sabotage, anyone?
My last words on ‘failure’…
If you want to stop feeling shameful whenever you make mistakes, you can download the Stay Positive worksheet.
It helps you gain perspective and feel more relaxed about your ‘failures’.
The more mistakes we make, the more we will learn.
Meanwhile, have a good week!
Shikah
(Free Worksheet) How to Stay Positive when Facing a Problem
If you want to learn how to stay positive when life gets hard, you can download the Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet here!
A few weeks ago, I received an email from one of my readers whom I will call ‘Carrie’.
There is a lot more to her email, but I will address 1 issue first: her mindset about her autoimmune disease.
Carrie is an attractive woman in her late 30s.
She feels inconvenienced by her autoimmune disease and it has held her back from living the kind of life she wants.
She also wants a relationship badly, but it does not seem to be happening right now.
I racked my brain thinking about a shortcut to make women like Carrie feel positive when life throws lemons at us.
In short, we need a mindset shift.
The Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet
This worksheet sounds simple. But trust me, it can change your perspective and make you feel empowered almost instantly.
When to apply this Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet:
I will recommend you to do this exercise AFTER you have accepted the unwanted event(s) in your life.
Don’t do this exercise when you are still feeling raw, in pain or in grief. We want our answers to be objective in this exercise.
How to do this Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet:
If you best friend has the same problem as you, how would you help her complete this worksheet?
That is one way to help you visualise how to use this worksheet.
Sometimes, we have to be downright creative. If you have a really bad problem, dig deep and be as creative as you can to find its positive aspects. Or get a good friend to help you with this exercise.
You can revisit this worksheet and re-do it again as the months pass.
Your perspective may change as time goes on. It’s quite interesting to see how our mindset and perspective shift over time.
An example for you
For this Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet, you will be required to list 3 positive points for every issue that you have.
For Carrie, these are 3 positive points about her health issue:
Positive #1: Her health issue has led her to live a healthier lifestyle. She has to be gluten-free, vegan and exercise regularly. Her body will thank her in the long run.
Positive #2: Carrie feels very motivated to chase her personal goals. She may realise that life is short and she feels inspired to start the activities which she has procrastinated upon all these years.
Positive #3: Carrie may learn to be more present and be in the moment. This will lead her to enjoy life more and be more relaxed.
There are many ways to be creative with this exercise.
To help you stay positive when facing life’s problems, you can download the Stay Positive Mindset Shift worksheet below:
If you want to share a mindset or self-esteem issue that you have, you can click the button below:
I will address it in my blog post or email newsletter if time permits! (your name and details will be confidential, of course).
Have a good week!
Shikah
